A successful life is tied to ‘Bin Iyaye’ (honoring your parents)…By Attahiru Fadlurahman Manga.
The notion: “follow your parents” is undeniable; even science hasn’t disproven it.
Inspired by Dr. Dooba’s insights shared in podcast conversations with Aliyu Dahiru Aliyu on Makarantarmu’s platform, highlighting his obedience to his parents’ choices and decisions (which I’m convinced amounted to his successful life), I found myself forming this opinion below:
Being born male comes with certain freedoms: freedom of choice and decision-making among others. Yet, these freedoms are interwoven, and interplay concurrently; one doesn’t exist without the other. Making a choice means making a decision, and vice versa.
As a man, you have two basic ways to make choices or decisions: either exclusively on your own or guided by a superior authority such as your parents, guardians, or principal.
My focus lies in parental decisions made for their children.
Many of us young people tend to underestimate decisions made by our parents due to our perceived self-awareness orientation or sense of civilization. We suddenly wake up and think our parents are outdated in making decisions for us because we believe we know better; it’s our era and time. Yet what we don’t know sometimes is that we ignorantly believe we know what we want, yet we wander in illusions, confusion, and fantasy.
The reason (I’m convinced) behind the success of most of our parents and grandparents is their adherence to their parents’ final decisions, even those conflicting with their own beliefs and desires. Morally speaking, heeding and accepting your parents’ decisions often leads to fortune, success, and a blissful life. Besides, everyone would desire to have children who listen to them and go by their decisions for them.
The alarming rate at which we young people challenge their parents’ decisions calls for sober reflection. Why? Because of the fear of an uncertain future. If karma, (the law of reciprocation), should come into play, we might raise children who oppose our own decisions, taking precedence over our behaviors towards our parents.
As it should normally be, parents are better positioned to make well-informed decisions for their children’s safety, well-being, and best interests. No parent wishes bad upon their children. As my tribal elders usually say: “What an elderly person sees sitting down, a child cannot see even if they climb a tree.” This maxim emphasizes the importance of age and experience. Hence, allowing your parents to make choices and decisions for you is always in your best interest, and accepting and embracing them amounts to a successful life.
In one Hadith, the prophet P.B.U.H said: “Honor your fathers and your children will honor you.”
In another Hadith, PBUH said: “The pleasure of Allah lies in the pleasure (Obedience) of the parents, and the anger of Allah lies in the anger (disobedience) of the parents.”
Also, one notable Bible verse about honoring parents is Ephesians 6:2-3: “Honor your father and mother so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.”
The Qur’an says In Surah Al-Isra (17:23): “And your Lord has decreed that you not worship except Him, and to parents, good treatment (honoring and obedience to them). Whether one or both of them reach old age [while] with you, say not to them [so much as], ‘off,’ and do not repel them but speak to them a noble word.”
That’s why I sincerely allow my parents to make all decisions and choices for me on numerous occasions. I’ve never made unilateral decisions without their input, and where otherwise, I usually resign to accepting and embracing their choices. For instance, the woman I married was my parents’ choice for me. I had my own choice but had to give it up for theirs. And I never regretted it and I’ll not God’s willing going forward.
In essence, as a man of note, you can only consider yourself independent when your parents are no longer alive. As long as they live, remember that you’re under their guidance and dictate. Gradually following them, you’ll realize that tomorrow, your offspring will do the same to you.
As you sow, so shall you reap.
AF MANGA.
