Waiting Love: Singles that thrive!
40 questions you should have answered before you make your decision to keep a relationship.
It is better a broken dating than marriage.
let these questions find their way in your conversations during friendship before you even make a commitment to marriage.
You might not know all about a person but these questions will help you know enough to make a decision. It is even much easier for these questions to be answered if you trust God to choose and expose flaws and red flags if any.
Some of these questions might not be answered by the potential suitor but people around that know them. You have to be open minded when it comes to choosing a mate.
Know the truth decide to know what to do with it. Any foundation built on a lie, will surely crumble. Love is true when you accept people, for what they were, what they can be and for who God has created them to be. You need to know what to accept and love, also nourish and protect.
While you wait for the right, why not do something for God?
- What do you think about the existence of God?
This question is important because, you need to know if they believe in the general existence of a supreme Being. Who rules over all.
- Do you think one can speak and hear from God?
You want to find out about their depth. Are they Holy Spirit lead, are they God minded or just Christian by name?
- Are you born again?
You would want to know the condition of their souls. Are they taking their eternal home and purpose seriously. Have they made a decision to serve God or not?
- What is your purpose on earth?
A person without direction is a person without insight or an impactful future. Do they even know they were bought for a price and created for a specific purpose?
- Are you a Virgin?
What you really want to know is how they stand, concerning purity and the purpose of chastity.
- Were you raped at any given time or almost raped. Have you ever raped anyone?
It is not a question meant for judgement but to know how you can support them psychologically to heal from a trauma. And to know when you decide to marry them, how to love and motivate them. Also you would want to know if they are serial unrepentant rapists.
- Did you witness any form of violence at home or have you been a Victim of violence?
Domestic violence has a huge impact on children, these children grow to be adults, without treatment of any kind. Learning about their pain, regrets and shame will give you an insight on how they perceive issues, especially domestic violence in marriage.
Some of these victims grow to desire a more deeper and sincere relationship with their spouses. Others will need a lot of counseling, intercessions and patience as they learn to forgive, change and let go.
Well, others become violent. You would need to find out which AND where they are in their healing process.
- Have you aborted before, did you help abort?
The child is firstly impacted by being killed, the mother who needs to go through a lot of mental curing and the Father too. You want to know these, incase there is a need to help them get help or change your mind.
- Do you have a child I should know?
A child is indeed a gift from God. Premarital sex is sin, no matter what. A child out of wedlock where in the parents are not ready to be in a marriage relationship has its ups and downs.
You would want to know, being surprised in the future will bring a lot of heart ache. Always seek the truth, know it so you know how to approach issues and persons.
- How many sexual partners do you have?
I don’t think anyone would want to share their partner. The more their sexual partners, the more complicated your marital love making. One has to repent, abandon their immoral ways for Christ’s sake. If not when they feel a bit of discomfort in marriage for what ever reason, they might run for a sex session with their past. Marriage does not stop immorality, Christ changes people. If they are not ready to give Christ their hearts, it will never be yours.
- What do you think of Faithfulness?
You would want to know if they believe in faithfulness in marriage. Your beliefs define who you are.
- Do you want to have children?
In reality there are a lot of Men and women who would prefer a childless marriage. Know where their stand is. Know yours so you don’t get deceived.
- Are you educated. Are you married or have you been married?
Having an education is important. One can do, and archive much more in marriage, parenting and career when educated.
Knowing a persons marital status is crucial, you wouldn’t want to build on anothers foundation or build castle in the air.
- Do you smoke, drink or club?
Smoking, drinking and clubbing might be a civilized form of living but there are people who prefer a mate that is off them. There are others who still believe in what God says about living a holy life.
- What is your take on investments?
You would want to know if they are hard and smart thinkers. you want to know if they intent to grow financially and all round. The content of the human heart says so much about them.
- Will you support extended family?
This information is important because you would want to find out If they are the supportive ones or not. Having relations living for a period of time or never should be discussed.
- Have you kidnapped or killed before?
Knowing the past is not about finding fault but building bridges and bringing healing. Things that are kept a secret tend to come back haunting. Trash secrets, bruise the head of the serpent.
- Where you at any time in prison?
Majority of people have been taken to prison while innocent, while others where there to pay for their crimes, what ever the case, you need to know the truth.
- Have you been part of any terrorist group?
Not knowing these about your spouse might be risky . These kind of people usually have a lot of enemies. When you decide to settle with people that have been In such, then you would need to seek for help for them. PTSD is real, they would need to go through a form of therapy..
- What is your political point of view?
What you really want to find out is if they have religious and race sentiments. People’s points of view will expose the nature of their hearts.
- Have you accepted money for sex before?
What you really want to know is if they have practiced any form of prostitution and why. I think you will like to know if they are prone to go for that path when the ships sink.
- Have you been in a sexual relationship with a married man or woman before?
Well this is to help you start a conversation about protecting your marriage from external forces. You would find it useful to know their reasons for having such affairs. Were they lured unknowingly, did they lure them or do they think it was love. You decide what you would do with the truth.
- Have you had any sexual relations with an animal or same sex?
Hmmmm, I don’t know if this doesn’t matter in the world we are in now. This is so important to find out. Haven’t you hard of cases where people marry people who believe they are the opposite sex, who will do anything for money?
That will not be your portion in Jesus Christ name. Amen.
- How do you feel about gender equality?
If you are a woman, you would want to find out if the man you a choosing will allow you pursuit your dreams, will walk with you proudly as an equal (sons) in the eyes of God and partners in marriage.
If you are a man you will need to know if they believed in submitting, respecting and supporting while preferring you to another in marriage while you support them and love them too.
- What do you think marriage should be like?
Are they thinking of marriage as God says it is or a means to an end. Something you do just because others are doing it or because they are expected to, such people will hardly give their best.
- Who names and has the kids in marriage?
In Africa the Man holds the tittle deed. we know that. What you want to find out is if they are people who will willingly compromise just to prove how much you matter and love you.
- What is your take on double dating?
Are they ok with the world’s standard of having, multiple partners in marriage, having exhorts and living a fake life.
- Where will you never worship?
Worshipping in the same place is the perfect thing to do. Don’t marry someone you are not okay with the congratulation they attend. Speak about it, if you can come to a compromise fine. it is even much better to get a place where both of you will thrive.
- What is the ultimate punishment for unfaithfulness?
If they believe it is death, believe them and run for your life. Are you planning to be unfaithful, no! but no one should live afraid of their lives each time they made a mistake. The healthy way of solving adultery is forgiveness or divorce. not death, crippling or cooking them in hot oil, cutting of privates, etc………..
It is also love to walk away where you are no longer needed. This is a much better approach than a vicious circle of bitterness and unforgiveness.
- What do you think about pregnancy and child birth?
Is it something they see as a privilege. A way of serving God or a necessity. These will determine how they will be around the children.
- Do women fake , pregnancy crisis or pains.
Some women have an excessive desire to proof how strong they are while pregnant, you won’t blame them, the world calls them lazy and liars, when they don’t put on a show. This behavior has taken many to their early graves.
You would want to find out if she has the tendencies to become such women.
As for a lady, you should find out if he is a kind, responsible and generous man. if he thinks women fake it, you wouldn’t want to be his scape goat.
- How far are you willing to go to make your marriage work?
Do they have the upbringing and the mentality that marriage is too important for humans to joke with? or is it that they believe marriage isn’t worth it.
- Have you ever visited a shrine for solutions before?
These question is meant to give you access into their world of faith. You want to know if they are a people of faith. If they are born again, then why are they ignorant of the tricks of the enemy, or what has pushed them to such desperate measure. Knowing these will help you intercede rightly and speak into their lives effectively. Remember what ever is exposed, dies.
- What is your take on using contraceptive, modern medicine and vaccination?
It is surprising despite the highmlevel of eductionm and the world being a thec village, there are a lot of people, faith and traditions that don’t believe in family planning, modern medicine and vaccination. Are you willing to cope with that?
- Where are you from and where would you not want to marry from?
It is safer to marry from your own place and clan but if God says otherwise then it is perfect. It is good to know the roots of a person and their perspective on marrying someone who is not their tribe.
- How far will you go with your education?
If you are a studious person, you would like to have a like mind partner. It is wise to know where they stand about how far they are going with their education.
- Do you believe in love?
It might sound wired but it is true that there are a lot of people who don’t believe in love but want to marry. Who do don’t have love living inside of them but want to marry. They are not submitted to the one who authored love and is Love but want to get married, when marriage is centered on loving God and loving your spouse.
You better know what they think and believe what love is? Love means a lot of wrong things to people. The truth is God is Love.
- What are your short term goals
A they goal and vision oriented? Are the learning and unlearning. Do they have a plan and how are they tried to achieve them?
- What are your long term goals?
What is their vision for the future? Are you going to be in it? Are you the most important part of it, of cos after God.
- What do you do for a living, do you have a car or a house, or are they going to live in their parents place?
It is important you know where they live, it will tell you a lot about them. Do they see car as a luxury or a necessity, just because he has a car does not mean he believes a you would ride with them o. Do they own a house are they working towards having one? These will give you a sense of who they are.
Living in the family house has so much disadvantages than advantages. You need to know the truth, to know what you will do with it. What ever you can discuss about, is half way solved.
I wish you all the best and hope you meet that human created to love you faithfully and sweetly.
Remain faithful to God. Gotname truly and prayerfuly cares!